A HAUNTED MIND

A haunted man
By the stillbirth pains
Of dreams unfulfilled/ unforgotten
Preyed on
By the truism of desire
And the veracity of failure
Humbled beneath his quivering feet
(Forced into) hiding in the twines of self doubt
Solace seeking in the shadow of the past
Cowering before the promise of the future
Camouflaging in strength and resolve
Face as uncompromising as flint
Heart as vulnerable as butter
Body torn between either extreme
Head reeling in aching formulae
-formulations to predict happiness
Intelligent theories that miss the obvious truth
The transparent truth taught in nurseries
"One bad fruit don't spoil the whole bunch"
Not every soul can really be saved
'Life' happens to even the best of us

The journey is long; the trip is hard
The man who lasts is the man who is
The redemption song is a self sung one
Mental slavery and emancipation
For none but ourself can free our own mind
With no fraternity with failures of the past
No fear of the luminousity of the future
Chasing down each dream with resolve steely
With swords of desire, driving through each
A need for fresh air, to be, to breathe
To be happy, find fulfillment, and to live
And cease to be
'A haunted man'.

-ManCee

-0159 300811
B,O.C

SUPER VILLAIN

I sit here by the sunset
With memories by the score
Of the love I gave but never got
But I gave my all
Much more than I've got
Still I end up folorn

O daughters of Eve
Offsprings of the garden love
You who worm into our core
Partake of our store
Fly off by the light of dawn
And leave our heart with a bore

Perhaps there's nought like love
Perhaps tis a tool, vamps for
-I hesitate to say whore
Oh! Spare me the gore
And with a gun just rob
Than spin me mushy folklore
That hurts the more
When you leave us null
Dour, sour
And of heart poor.

(something from the archives)

My Privilege

Its a privilege

Music fills the infinite between two souls, they say
The songs we share remind me of you
The burden of each day is lightened when I hear you laugh
Then the morning becomes more than just another day...
But another chance to look at life with a smile
And believe that indeed and of a truth
Life is a gift
We earn the privilege by enjoying it.
I am privileged to have had you in mine.




(I miss you old friend,
Fleeting as it was, our time
You I can not forget-
-Even when I do not remember...)

For a day…

I don’t think I can pass for “cuddly”, I’m better as “Cuddler”.

6 foot 2, muscular build (these days, most of the time), lets face it…it’ll be quite a search finding a female big enough to cuddle me.
Part of the reality of MY world…I have to be the ‘designated cuddler’. I don’t mind most times…but today, I WANT TO BE CUDDLED.

And in my psyche, I’m more of a giver than receiver (- my ‘selfishness’ was acquired )

Am I lonely? Maybe, dunno…
Horny? Doubt it, but dunno…

I want to be held and rocked. Almost like I want to be a child again.

No, I don’t want to be irresponsible and stupid, just want to be… a child.

Have someone, a female, fawn over me. No, not my mother *rolling my eyes*, it is important that I’m also attracted physically to this ‘someone’. Else it all wont work. My mind wont be able to let go and let “MAN Cee” slip away.

I want to feel someone coo in my ears, feel Another’s warmth on my arms, nest in the cradle of someone’s care, rest my head on some ample bosom, sense a female hustle and bustle about my flat while I lay back and placid with a hot cocoa, curled up listening to soothing music. Someone to take care of ME, today. This weekend?

If only there was a “Dial-A-Cuddler”. *sigh*

I’m so used to being there for people, taking care of everyone, solving their problems , listening, being big brother, son, mentor, advisor, consultant, engineer, goto person etc. SH*T! ManCee is tired! I feel like I’ve given so much and I need a refill. I want to have no cares for a while…mine nor others’.

Maybe I’m just weary. Maybe I just need a break from myself. Maybe I’m losing it. Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Maybe I just want to be a …’child for a day.’

-ManCee

FEMALE :(PHOBIA or :)PHILIA

My friend said to be wary of women, I absent mindedly asked 'why?'

"WHY?!" he thundered...

"Because the woman is the only creature on the earth today that was not made DIRECTLY from the ground (earth). There is virtually no information as to how she was created. All we are told is that God took a rib, went away, and came back with a woman. How he did it, we do not know.

In Gen chapter 6, Angels came down from heaven because of the woman. In the new testament, Paul advises Christians to FLEE forni……

We can stand against demons, Stand against the powers of darkness and Resist the devil; But when it comes to the woman you are advised to run… not walk, not cast or bind but run"


Okay, I'm still laughing...

Then I remembered a colleague who said "The best way to defeat a temptation is to 'fall for it'. Then it ceases to be a temptation, rather, something in the past."

Both make sense in their twisted ways, and the question boils down to...

"TO DO or NOT TO DO"

Ladies, should we fear una?
==============================================
Hello Blogsville,
I've missed y'all pieces.
Forgive my silence, forgive even more my absence...for you(pl) are always with me.
-ManCee

The I'm too hot syndrome

So there's this fella from way back who all his life had been a church boy, became a church 'bro', was many times an executive on his Campus fellowship board etc etc

Guy finished with school and NYSC and landed a real swell job with schlumberger ( for those who don't know, that's a really sweet job right there). Went abroad on a 6month training, had a car and apartment all set up in like light speed quick. In short, guy was no longer am 'average' dude.

However, my guy never had a girlfriend before. Not even a 'sister' from college days. He was effing timid when it came to lady things. Sure he fancied a few ladies in school..but that was it. None of them ever got to know of it. So my guy has been eyeing a particular chic in church ( equally a church girl) and finally -with our encouragement- steps up to her to ask her to be his girlfriend. The girl agreed within a short while. Drop dead gorgeous good churchy damsel, most definitely a virgin and all thÉ works.

Then bobo -all by himself- has an epiphany. If this girl who is the envy of all bros could jell for him so quickly, no no no; if HE could get the girl with so little effort, then that means he's just an ugly duckling who has always been a swan all aloÑg! To test his theory, he broke up with Pweety and went after another...same result!

...And thus was a monster born.

Fast foward a year later, dude is a confirmed ladies man. Babes calling in left right and centre. He confessed to have done a threesome at least thrice! Nice right!? When we met again, he tried to impress me with his 'awesome' statistics.

I laughed at his juvenile rantings and educated him on "Mancee's Law of Universal Averageness". WÍthout the high soundiÑg words, it just says we are all the same. Some haters have said it derives from Biblical Solomon's "Nothing new under the sun". By implication, you actually don't have a truly unique and exclusive thought; someone else is thinking your exact same thoughts somewhere else. No don't confuse this with alternate dimension crap...it aint the same.

Anyways, in this case; ever woken up someday and told yourself that IF someone were to grab you and beg you for sex that day, you'd happily oblige? Well, at least one other person is thinking same. So while you wait for 'someone' to make the move, 'someone' is ...wait for it... Waiting/hoping/ wishing that YOU would make the move. Lastline? No one gets laid- unless someone actually does the required action- ASK.

So, as a 'player' and or 'slut' (gender irrelevant), when you think you've 'scored', you have only met with your other 'Thought-Sharer/peer'. NÓ big deal. You still aint all that.If you 'score' often...you are just meeting people who share your thought and have been waiting for the offer.

We all aint all that. We are all the same...

-Mancee :D

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Arrangee..sorta!

So, my older cousin called me up last night. 'Go to my fb page, look for a certain chic called (say) 'Helen'. Check out her page and call me back'.

I sighed, the matchmakers wont let up would they? I did as instructed, chic had a sorta poem that started out well and sorta grew so effusive while trying to be vague that i wouldn't have given it a good grade. I read the almost equally effusive comments and wondered if people still understood poetry at all. I wanted to leave a short 'critique' but I had to be 'friends'. *sigh*

She has like 4 blog pages (2 on wordpress, 2 on blogger) last updated in 2009-all on the same day. The one that had the most had just 2 entries.

Called bros back. He rants off her biodata, I'm trying to put together a profile of her in my head. I tell bros about the other chic i just met, not too much details just a heads-up thing. He says to at least be friends with the nu girl and just check her out. I'm chuckling, but the need to comment on the girls's lengthy 'poem' becomes overwhelming...so I log back on, ask to be fB friends and left a personal msg that I read her 'poem' and have some comment to add.

What do I have to lose?If she adds me, I get to have fun poking fun at her, and she may just learn a thing or two. If not *yawn*, back to my ps3 baby....
Perhaps I'm really outta my mind.