Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Memoirs Of a Lagos Returnee (Part 1)

Fact: I do not like lagos.
Fact: Lagos is just like jand/yankee...good enough to visit, not as much to live in
Fact: I do not like lagos.

So I was away from lagos. For about two years. No it wasnt my first time living outside the state, but contrasting that with the other times...this time I actually had fun.

I could and did dictate my own terms, I could and did choose my affiliates and associates. In other words, I was king of my own hill- albeit small.

Fast forward many months after 'returning', I'm in hospital typing this. My 'yansh' (excuse my french) has been poked ever so often I think I might need the services of some 'vulcanizer' dude.
So wetin bring my "hole-y butt" to this den of white clad eggheads with weird earphones and scantily clad pretty nurses with legs that make you want to feign a headache? Hmmm, na 'malaria' o!

My brother! So I suddenly developed a chill in the office, put on a winter coat (seriously) but no relief. I went upnto the balcony and stayed in the sun but my fingers still felt like they were laced with liquid nitrogen. It was either that I was developing powers akin to Sub-Zero's or something was wrong. Then it hit me- I have a fever!

Sharply sharply, I trotted down to the company clinic, doc asked me if I was okay. Honestly, I thought this was sarcastic and I wanted to answer in equal measure and jump on his desk singing "I feeeeeel good", James Brown style. All I could manage was a lame imitation of Maintain's "I catch cold".

Some blood work later, the verdict was one of africa's most common yet worst killer- malaria.

I was let off that day, a friend drove me home but I was back 2 days later for an overnight stint with a diagnoses of increased parasite activity in my blood! Doc said I missed a chance of it developing into 'cerebral malaria'! Hmmmm

A week later after I was discharged, I got a carton of baygon insecticide and sprayed the whole house...next morning, I was greeted with the sight of the most dead mosquitoes I have ever seen in my entire life.

For those in naija right now, abeg with the flooding everywhere...install mosquitoe nets and spray your home with insecticides. For those outside naija, remind your people back home to. Or better still, send money home to buy some.



Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.6