Thursday, August 30, 2018


I swear I have been in meetings where the only thing on my mind is that these people just love their own DAMN voices...
"How does it sound to my hearing? Oh, let me vary the timbre and see how it sounds...yipee! Does it make people sleep and how soon before they hit dream land?
Yay! it works..."
Sometimes I feel like this when I visit some blogs...some folks just love to see their gibberish on print.
Of course, during those moments of self doubt which plagues even the best of us all, I also find myself wondering " Are they gonna feel me on this?"
Ah well...
Having gotten that off my mind, lemme say "Howdy" ( especially knowing that no one will probably read this anyways.)

Monday, February 24, 2014

Heartbreak in 770XX

...Just like in any other city
Much like any other being
Much like varying shades of pity
Love really is just a thing

Whether you let him into your kitty
Wholly bare yourself to the feeling
Or stay aloof like a kitten
Love is still a cryptic thing

Gidi or this funny town Houston
By any name, a rose is a-rose-ing
Life'll torment our deepest lusting
'S long as we learn, we're living


Response to Leggy's post below:

Tuesday, June 4, 2013


(written as a post for

AM, zero four fifty five
A new day has arrived
Internal time things connive
Nagging me worse than a wive
Eyes fiery from sleep deprive
Fibre by fibre, the body lights its fire

Like yesterday I awake
Thanks mumbled to the sky Sheikh
Steak, pancake, which shall I make
Each thought waking with a headache
Today, somehow seems like yesterday
i thought as I exhaled
hot water my back to bake
As thoughts turn to filenames and delivery dates

Today I’ll do something new
Board the bus for a different view
Cool. My ennui perhaps to undo
Headphones on to a new tune
weave my way in school lines like a corkscrew
The last yards my bus to pursue
Tiny seat next to a tattoo-ee to makedo
Today starts off all anew
But yesterday seems its preview

I thought wryly with a smirk
‘Surprise’! It’s the same office clerk
Perky smile and things blowing me a peck
The people are nice and its good teamwork
My sleeves are rolled to get that bonus perk
Remind them I’m damn good at this brainwork
Work before pecks, not here to shirk
I do my bit to get us that fat extra perk

Present cogitations and presentations
Deadlines met, signatures on parchments
The day is done and young. And like rodents
We all scurry off in complex movements
Each to his own and present vestments

I’d probably run into Miss Irene
Next door neighbour dense as concrete
Half nude bad titjob swaying like on heat
Quick pleasantries and bolt like an athlete

Back in my crib, seated in my favorite seat
Finish this poem and send it off quick
Order dinner and some sweet treat
I’d think Naija and hear her rush-hour streets
I miss the heat, the loud street beats
I miss being just like the next guy
Charcoal face not darker than usual
No daily attempt to prove my meat

Something tells me tomorrow may be same
Perhaps tomorrow I’ll finally be sane
Sane enough to go back to naija.
Or be grateful for what I have here
And with hope, plan for another day.


Friday, April 19, 2013


Neighbor A]8:12 AM
Knock Knock!
Neighbor B] 8:12 AM
who be dat?
Neighbor A]8:19 AM
Na ya neighbor
I wan borrow salt
Neighbor B] 8:21 AM
Market don close? Ehn Papa Nduka?
Neighbor A]8:31 AM
But e too far
I don put rice for fire already
Neighbor B] 8:37 AM
Neighbor B] 8:39 AM
I go give you 3 seed of salt
Neighbor A]8:46 AM
You harsh o
Sisi Clara, ask yasef...
"Wetin Jesus go do?"
Neighbor B] 8:47 AM
3 seed na 3 cups na? you no go sukool?:P
Neighbor A]8:49 AM
Three cups?! Haba...
You dey try abuse me? Say I no fit go buy salt?
Na wah to you o
Neighbor B] 8:50 AM
as market too far, I wan help your ministry of cooking
Neighbor A]8:50 AM
Na wetin I ask you make you do
(all dis gehls of nowadays sef, mtscheew)
Neighbor B] 8:54 AM
see hep wey I wan hep you o
I tire these today man sef
Neighbor A]8:55 AM
Just gimme enoff salt for d concoction rice wey dey fire, biko
Neighbor B] 8:56 AM
you sure say no be Ila-asepo you dey cook
Neighbor A]9:02 AM
From saying I no fit buy salt
now you dey call me blind?
Neighbor B] 9:04 AM
blind ke!
Neighbor A]9:04 AM
So I no sabi rice from okra, ehn?
Neighbor B] 9:05 AM
we dey confam
Neighbor A]9:12 AM
Baba Lan'lord go hear dis one o
Neighbor B] 9:13 AM
tell am na
 Na oga at the top go judge de mata
Neighbor A]9:14 AM
You dey tok now abi?
When mata reach council go silent like the "dotcom"
Neighbor B] 9:17 AM
that's all

Friday, March 15, 2013


So many things in this life seem to be competing for one's sanity.

From love matter, to hate matters.

Money or the lack thereof...tis funny how opposites can have the same harrowing effect on your mind. Then I learnt that the same parts of the brain interpret pain and pleasure...that's why some folks can derive pleasure from other people or their own pain. Hmmm

I have had moods and swings so bad that I did infact feel quite unwell.

Someone told me to decide on a reason for my existence. I liked the thought till it dawned on me that that was silly...I didn't make my life so what do I know about the 'why' I'm here? Whats that supposed to be? 'Reverse Engineering'? Mtscheew.

The closest I've gone to reverse engineering my self, life and head is to ensure that I remain sane as much as the definition for that allows. 

To keep from going completely mad, I had to settle and agree with myself on some immutable facts, chief of which was that everything was exactly as I allow myself to perceive it...thence commenced years of setting the datum. What is normal? I discovered that I was a very capable individual though I routinely doubted myself. I spent years researching and asking questions of others. From why do you think we are here to how long is considered 'normal' in love making (true story).

Something I do... A mix of visualization, positive thoughts and reinforcement;

I call it 'airing my mind'. I imagine opening the doors and windows to my mind for cross ventilation and let the breeze carry the 'yama yama' away. Sounds simple but it effing works. 

When I feel I'm thinking too much, I do a technique I 'invented' which I call a thought-loop. Simple technique. I tell myself to think about nothing, then ask myself to think about that, THEN ask myself what I'm thinking about...the answer? I'm thinking about what I'm thinking about which is that I'm thinking about what I'm thinking about which is that I'm thinking about what I'm thinking about etc etc....the end answer to that is "I'm thinking of nothing".

Those two help and have kept me sane. Now I do them without even 'thinking'. Like my mind knows when to switch to "auto", as part of the 'System maintenance protocol'.

One of my new ogas said they should nickname me "Smiley" coz I'm always smiling. I laughed out loud and patted myself on the back. Those tortuous years waging my private battles have indeed paid off. I made it. (But what of the many who didn't/ will not...)

I'm still here today with gratitude to The Most High as proof that we can rise above our personal deamons. I do understand that some of us do need more help than others to stay sane...but i5t is achievable.

From being tormented by the multitude, I emerged from my ashes as a voice for the multitude. The flesh and blood of the multitude.



Tuesday, February 26, 2013


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Friday, February 8, 2013

Ol boi, na wah...

So its 2013 now now?

The way time flies ehn...e go make you hala say "ol boi, na wah".

Cant believe I posted twice in 2012! I sincerely wish I can say this year will get more posts...

The last I was here, I was ranting about Lagos and its travails...this year, I find myself away from Las Gidi and now in Uncle Sam's country. I guess tyis a case of 'mind what you wish for'.

Dis 'Man-Must-Wack' thin's wey just dey move man pikin all over the globe. Hmm, okay o...

The cold for here ehn! Na die!
See as your guy dey wear clothe sleep call am pyjamas. Me wey if i wan sleep well for naija, na to undress yakata for my 7x7. For here, I no dey gree open window sef. As I dey pick car to buy, na heated seat and steering wheel top my list. I dey even leave on Tommy overcoat inside car as emergency personal protective equipment.

As a correct opportunist na, I say as I find myself for here for like a year so, I must tour their whole country building my picture cache. Na im I follow go mardi gras o. The only mistake I made was not making enough friends who dey shaq make dem for fit follow go. I felt quite alone there...everyone was drinking/ had drunk/was was almost boring feeling like the only sober person in a whole town.

Seeing all the people together, one could not help noticing some facts; OYIBO PEOPLE CAN FAT, latinos can fine sha, black people can get yansh (chei!) plus swag plus attitude and if only whites  had yansh dem for overfine pass.

Oh make I no forget this I dey waka go my hotel around 2am, na im I hear two oyibo women dey yarn dey giggle for my back. I look around, na only the three of us dey the street. Cold dey mama me so I hide hand inside trouser. Apparently that action drew my pants tighter. As the two women dey giggle like so, I come take style listen to their talk. Dem dey talk about my yansh(!). I say shuo! ignored dem dey waka dey go...

One of dem come call out say "Hello sir, yeah its you we are talking about. Dont you just walk on by like you cant hear us... we are saying thats a real nice arse you've got there".

Ol boi, my inner jaw drop. Na im I begin laff sotay. I stop, pointed at them in turn "You ladies are drunk", I said. The other one shake im head and said "yes we are, but even if I wasnt drunk...I'd still wanna tap that arse". I was so shocked I just resume my laff jejely.

As I shook my head laughing and walking away, they called after me..."if you are looking for us, we'll be at the waffle house...!"

Ol boi... "na real wah".

ps: Wishing you a fulfilling new year and may all your plans and planning make sense.