Tuesday, February 26, 2013


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Friday, February 8, 2013

Ol boi, na wah...

So its 2013 now now?

The way time flies ehn...e go make you hala say "ol boi, na wah".

Cant believe I posted twice in 2012! I sincerely wish I can say this year will get more posts...

The last I was here, I was ranting about Lagos and its travails...this year, I find myself away from Las Gidi and now in Uncle Sam's country. I guess tyis a case of 'mind what you wish for'.

Dis 'Man-Must-Wack' thin's wey just dey move man pikin all over the globe. Hmm, okay o...

The cold for here ehn! Na die!
See as your guy dey wear clothe sleep call am pyjamas. Me wey if i wan sleep well for naija, na to undress yakata for my 7x7. For here, I no dey gree open window sef. As I dey pick car to buy, na heated seat and steering wheel top my list. I dey even leave on Tommy overcoat inside car as emergency personal protective equipment.

As a correct opportunist na, I say as I find myself for here for like a year so, I must tour their whole country building my picture cache. Na im I follow go mardi gras o. The only mistake I made was not making enough friends who dey shaq make dem for fit follow go. I felt quite alone there...everyone was drinking/ had drunk/was drunk...it was almost boring feeling like the only sober person in a whole town.

Seeing all the people together, one could not help noticing some facts; OYIBO PEOPLE CAN FAT, latinos can fine sha, black people can get yansh (chei!) plus swag plus attitude and if only whites  had yansh dem for overfine pass.

Oh make I no forget this gossip...as I dey waka go my hotel around 2am, na im I hear two oyibo women dey yarn dey giggle for my back. I look around, na only the three of us dey the street. Cold dey mama me so I hide hand inside trouser. Apparently that action drew my pants tighter. As the two women dey giggle like so, I come take style listen to their talk. Dem dey talk about my yansh(!). I say shuo! ignored dem dey waka dey go...

One of dem come call out say "Hello sir, yeah its you we are talking about. Dont you just walk on by like you cant hear us... we are saying thats a real nice arse you've got there".

Ol boi, my inner jaw drop. Na im I begin laff sotay. I stop, pointed at them in turn "You ladies are drunk", I said. The other one shake im head and said "yes we are, but even if I wasnt drunk...I'd still wanna tap that arse". I was so shocked I just resume my laff jejely.

As I shook my head laughing and walking away, they called after me..."if you are looking for us, we'll be at the waffle house...!"

Ol boi... "na real wah".

ps: Wishing you a fulfilling new year and may all your plans and planning make sense.