Saturday, November 14, 2009


"The guy I marry must be a hard guy, a real man; who'll even beat me well if I mis-behave sef"

I'm sitting across the table, where my inner jaw had dropped to the floor, looking at the fair complexioned 25yr old, slim, frail looking, slow speeched beauty. I looked at the guy next to me and he's chuckling. Some other female in the group nods to this and I was all the more bewildered.

I brought up the matter in the office, and got a lot of afirmative stories of women who'd rather be beaten up than not!
A pastor tells of a couple who always had issues till the wife opened up that she wanted to see if the guy could be 'man enough' to beat her. Needless to say, twas their last counselling; apparently, bros started living up to expectations(!).
A married female colleague said maybe not outright beating, but he should shout her down sometimes, saying 'You know we Benin women can be domineering...'

I say okay, how about the females who don't know they want to be beaten up but just keep manufacturing headache for their males?!
Or, how about the male who just can't think of hitting anyone, has sworn never to raise his hand against any female. Any hope of him finding happiness if he's stuck with such a woman who NEEDS beating to re-calibrate?!

How long can/should you keep beating up a grown adult to keep her in line?
How about children who grow in these kinda families? Won't they maintain the same sadomasochism mindset?

But wait a while...the relationships I've enjoyed the most were the ones where most times I was too distracted and seemed like I didn't care. The ones I really gave all to, seemed to fizzle quickly and painfully.
Worrisome trend is that I have noticed this since my primary school days; the girls flock after the bully, the jerk and the guy who 'no send'!

BUT, MY PARENTS NEVER EXCHANGED WORDS not to talk of fight. Ever. Wouldn't even let my bro and I beat up each other. 'who did U learn that from?' They'd ask.
It would appear that no more does being a driven, sensitive, well built, normal looking, well spoken, God-aware, 'rich' guy cut it, you need to add 'pugilist' to the resume before you can hold down a woman in this generation.

Am I going mad or I need to just get off my high horses and go beat up the next fine chic I see on the street...


  1. Yeah "some" women like men like that. There is nothing to love about a jerk or a "bad guy"?
    Some people's mind is very twisted! How can you want a guy that will beat you up or even shout at you? I loathe it when people raise their vioce talkless of shouting. I find that it is in some folks upbringing so they see it as the norm.

    Bia no go touch another persin pikin. Na beat dem go beat you.. our hand no dey!

  2. Mmmh, so now they actually want to be beaten up, eh? Well shaa, no wahala - I CAN HANDLE IT!! :D

  3. lol@the last line. dont go chris brown on anybodys child no naija people. the girls family members go just come beat you up, carry you to police station lock.

  4. I think you know some twisted females! I mean I want my man to be 'the man', as in if I am in a relationship where I feel comfortable disrespecting the guy, it can't run. I must know he is a man and treat him as such. But beating, or the brink of beating? Why would I want that guy? If I want to respect my man, I want him to respect me too. And if he hit's me I think we will both have a respect issue.

    I can understand the concept of wanting to be with a man who you know can be 'men enough' to hold his own physically (not against me-oo!) if needs must, but that MUST be coupled with a firm conviction within that man that he will NEVER hit a women. Having said that, women should not hit their men. How can you then cry when you get your desired reaction? TWISTED

  5. Biko, SOME [retarded] women want to be beaten...noone i know [personally] has ever said that to me. I was surprised to see some women say that mess after the whole Rhianna and Chris saga...talking about "If i push a nucca to the wall and he doesn't smack me, he's a punk"...and like you, i had to pick my jaw off the floor.

    I have never gotten the whole 'bad' guy appeal...Never!! Why will i want someone that treats me bad?? Omo mental people plenty wey dey parade like sane people oh.

    lol@ Kay-- you can handle wetin?? No play ruff play oh.

    ManCee-- keep doing you mind these mental chicken heads abeg.

  6. Those girls are crazy oo, don't go and try it please. LOL.

    How now, long time...

  7. I find the whole idea really weird...albeit fetish to some extent.

  8. *Blank fucking stare*

    Some women actually want to be beaten up?



  9. "...not outright beating, but he should shout her down sometimes..." tough luck, they simply cannot always have their wishes.

  10. Total rubbish! Women like that put female empowerment back about 100 years. Do they want a life partner or a drill sergant? Foolish & ingredients!

  11. caramel its nonsense* and ingredients :) sorry, but its a rare a chance that i actually better someone in naija slangs he he

    now mancee: first, i can see you are back in the game. good job. we should hang out. especially as you're rich ;) (see, me i wont pretend til we marry!!)

    second: i no what u mean abt giving ur all. even guys are like that. guys i'm nt really into, they do anything i ask of them. the guy i'm head over heels for, treats me like crap.

    i want a guy i can respect. i get mouth gan n if a guy cant call me out on my bullshit i will walk all over him. but the respect MUST be mutual. nothing turns me mule headed as much as being told what i can and cannot do so bullying wont work. besides, i am HEAVY into martial arts: shotokan karate, jujitsu; even taken up fencing. so i pity the fool.

    anyway, mancee boo keep updating. u're inspiring me to blog too :)

  12. First...THAT IS SUPER FREAKY!!! I WILL NOT DATE talkless of MARRY a chic who likes being beaten up..

    That's super freaky!!

    Nice one though....keep it coming

  13. ps: like the new color scheme. soothing

  14. LMAO!!

    I wish I could go rational but I'm forced to go spiritual.
    These are DEMONIC relationships!

    Beat a woman ke? I'm not sure that would be necessary. I've come to understand that voilence doesnt always work and can have bad repercussions.

    if u end up with a bitch for a partner, then my advise wouldbe to do as the guy did in shakespeare's 'Taming of the shrew'.

    That is a classic remedy!!

  15. >>Nice Anon
    But I'm telling you...I have even noticed this trend from primary school.
    Me? Beat someone else? tufia...I'd rather walk away men...(I think)

    Nna, calm down o. go easy on that thot bro

    Well spoken...that definitely IS a naija scenario.

    Nne, You broach another topic.
    Which is the 'REAL' man...the one who doesnt mind resorting to physicals (not necesarily with a female)to 'hold his own'...or the other who'd avoid physicals but would rather dialogue/walk away than brawl...

    >>REpressed One, you do confirm the existence of the "bad guy appeal"
    lol@ 'mental chicken heads'

  16. >>Myne Whitman
    Nne, no mind me o.
    Me? I be lover (whateva that means) no be fighter

    >>Ms 'dufa
    Ma'am, the whole concept makes wierd look sane

    Hmmm...Na so we see am o

    well put

    lol @ Drill Sergeant
    I wonder o, I just wonder

    rich? Who said rich? me?...see ya teeth.

    Carry time o, dont be harrassing Caramel like that o. *chuckle* you are one of the chics who make the good guys bleed. God forgive you.

    BUT, Sweetheart...isnt 'call me out on my bullshit' synonymous to 'not beat me outrightly but shout me down'?
    ...Are you from Bini?

    Lol @ martial arts...who dash you. FYI, watching Jackie Chan movies DOES NOT count as training

    My people...tanx for coming. Wetin Man nor Mancee go do without una?

  17. >>Harry-Rami ltie
    Exact emotions here man...but how would you know till you start dating her now.
    Even more scary...what if she hasnt realised that beating is her 'call to reason' and just makes your life miserable in the meantime...

    Thanx for showing...'ppreciate it.

    (What new color?, what did I say about staying off the white powder, eh?)

    I agree withya...they are NUTS
    'Taming the shrew'...hmmm...
    Tanx for stopping by. :-)

  18. mancee if i see you for road....

    and "calling me out on my bullshit" does not equal shouting me down. in fact raising your voice will resulting in you yelling at my back as i walk away and out of your life. i just want a confident guy fully able to stand his ground and not cave because "my grammar too much 4 him little head"

  19. >>inco,
    IF you see me for road, wetin you go do? 'Jackie Chan' my ass? lol dash you, your own reach Pastor Okotie own?
    Nonsense and Jangbajantis.

  20. Some realness right here.

    You said it best when u used the word, "sadomasochism." Even some of the comments here are disturbing. Where does the phrase "physical or verbal abuse" highlight the word MAN? Disturbing I tell you. Some women have really got to get it together. There is absolutely nothing MAN-LY about a man who gives you a black eye, or tramples on your intellectuality.

  21. i might need to be kept in check but not by beating definitely not beating. i hate pain ooh i salute women who cherish it.

  22. >>Omo oba
    You say my mind exactly...WHY?! Why must 'Man' mean 'see me and flee?'

    Help a confused broda out...explicitly explain 'kept in check'

    personally, I dare not even imagine thumping any woman- with all these rippling muscles? Na man (woman) slaughter be that one...straight up men

  23. Are you for real? you mean there are women who will rather marry a wife beater than someone who will treat them like a lady!!!
    Now that is deep...I personally think there are some foundational issues there and if we check,this women are from troubled background,seriously I can't fathom it!


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