The Joseph in Me

(I wrote this a very long while ago and recently found it during a cleaning spate. Thought I'd share it with y'all)

Its a new month and yah dah yah dah, the year is running to an end ...again. *sigh*.

So I'm thinking, People always say 'may your wishes come true', come to think of it-I never wrote dow my wishes before. Now I'll embrace the cloak of anonymity and attempt to...

I have a dream...

I want to be rich (Duh!?) I want to retire at forty.

I want o be known as a philantropic business man. I want to use part of my business proceeds for charity. Since , sometimes I doubt the operandi of most NGOs (confessions, confessions) I'll probably start one and have another business arm act as its funds-generator. It'll most likely be skewed towards education/ personal develpment.

I want to marry (OMG, cant believe I'm writing that). Not just for the sake of marriage, but for the companionship. I have great great friends and family (well, most are) but there's always that thingy missing that I think we've all been programmed to seek in the marriage institution. I dont know yet if actual marriage will be good for me, but I want to have that special someone by my side soothing me and vice versa. :-)

Kids? Not sure. Maybe one maybe two. No more. Love those tiny people but I'm allergic to a prolonged exposure. Especially, when they start squirming and pooing and screaming the heavens down. Then you'll understand why God gave them the boot from yonder and sent them here as part of our continuing punishment (lol). I'd love to see mine grow up and be successful, focussed individuals who'd do much better than I would.

I'd like to have an educational institution. Teaching both formal and informal stuff. As formal as a structured curriculum school for kids and as informal as a grooming school for ladies (and interested guys). I have this vision of my 70th birthday and so many peeps I've touched would be in attendance.

I'd love to have sex at least 4 times a week. why are you surprised? tis too small or too much? I like to believe that its mid way. I'd like to quickly add that this doesnt mean if I exhaust my sex credit say by tuesday then no show again till next week. No ma'am. Fact is, I'd like it like every day. Before or after (damn! during) breakfast. But I hear women cant sustain as much of it as men can??? or is it just a marriage malady for women?

I'd love to have a mate who'll be my best friend (Yep! we'll demote the boyz). Who'd let me be the man in the home and not contest the sceptre. I would listen to her, gist with her...all the time. I'd ask after her dreams + career and help to make them work. I'd love for her to be someone concerned about her body and how she looks-NO she doesnt have to be an Agbani nor a botox addict. No ma'am, just need you to be a clean, tidy, industrious woman. I'd love for her to be FORGIVING; leave the hurt and pleasures of past boyfriends and relationships behind her and let us be newbies with each other. I'd love to give her a treat 'just because' and I'd bask in the joy of her near childish glee at my offerings. I'd like for her to 'spoil me' with correct home-cooked food and I promise to lick my fingers at every meal. I'd LOVE for her NOT to be a troublesome person. Who even if there is a 'valid' arguement to be had, would weigh the damage it could to 'us' and balance it with her love for drama/ need to vent. Someone who'd leave her parents' attitude to each other (good and bad) alone and lets write ours, afresh. I'm beginning to feel like I'm asking for an Extra-Terrestial .lol. Religion? Not sure. I want a good person-I've painfully found out this doesnt depend on religion

Tis funny. I feel like the others are well within my grasp and ability save for the part of a wife. She could be all Lovey-Dovey till marriage only to become a BIATCH. Heck She may even refuse me sex as 'punishment'. That'll be horrible. Or worse, she just opens up and wouldnt participate in the sextivity. That brings me to my last wish "to never have a reason to nor actually sleep with another person after the 'I do' "