Monday, September 13, 2010

The Joseph in Me

(I wrote this a very long while ago and recently found it during a cleaning spate. Thought I'd share it with y'all)

Its a new month and yah dah yah dah, the year is running to an end ...again. *sigh*.

So I'm thinking, People always say 'may your wishes come true', come to think of it-I never wrote dow my wishes before. Now I'll embrace the cloak of anonymity and attempt to...

I have a dream...

I want to be rich (Duh!?) I want to retire at forty.

I want o be known as a philantropic business man. I want to use part of my business proceeds for charity. Since , sometimes I doubt the operandi of most NGOs (confessions, confessions) I'll probably start one and have another business arm act as its funds-generator. It'll most likely be skewed towards education/ personal develpment.

I want to marry (OMG, cant believe I'm writing that). Not just for the sake of marriage, but for the companionship. I have great great friends and family (well, most are) but there's always that thingy missing that I think we've all been programmed to seek in the marriage institution. I dont know yet if actual marriage will be good for me, but I want to have that special someone by my side soothing me and vice versa. :-)

Kids? Not sure. Maybe one maybe two. No more. Love those tiny people but I'm allergic to a prolonged exposure. Especially, when they start squirming and pooing and screaming the heavens down. Then you'll understand why God gave them the boot from yonder and sent them here as part of our continuing punishment (lol). I'd love to see mine grow up and be successful, focussed individuals who'd do much better than I would.

I'd like to have an educational institution. Teaching both formal and informal stuff. As formal as a structured curriculum school for kids and as informal as a grooming school for ladies (and interested guys). I have this vision of my 70th birthday and so many peeps I've touched would be in attendance.

I'd love to have sex at least 4 times a week. why are you surprised? tis too small or too much? I like to believe that its mid way. I'd like to quickly add that this doesnt mean if I exhaust my sex credit say by tuesday then no show again till next week. No ma'am. Fact is, I'd like it like every day. Before or after (damn! during) breakfast. But I hear women cant sustain as much of it as men can??? or is it just a marriage malady for women?

I'd love to have a mate who'll be my best friend (Yep! we'll demote the boyz). Who'd let me be the man in the home and not contest the sceptre. I would listen to her, gist with her...all the time. I'd ask after her dreams + career and help to make them work. I'd love for her to be someone concerned about her body and how she looks-NO she doesnt have to be an Agbani nor a botox addict. No ma'am, just need you to be a clean, tidy, industrious woman. I'd love for her to be FORGIVING; leave the hurt and pleasures of past boyfriends and relationships behind her and let us be newbies with each other. I'd love to give her a treat 'just because' and I'd bask in the joy of her near childish glee at my offerings. I'd like for her to 'spoil me' with correct home-cooked food and I promise to lick my fingers at every meal. I'd LOVE for her NOT to be a troublesome person. Who even if there is a 'valid' arguement to be had, would weigh the damage it could to 'us' and balance it with her love for drama/ need to vent. Someone who'd leave her parents' attitude to each other (good and bad) alone and lets write ours, afresh. I'm beginning to feel like I'm asking for an Extra-Terrestial .lol. Religion? Not sure. I want a good person-I've painfully found out this doesnt depend on religion

Tis funny. I feel like the others are well within my grasp and ability save for the part of a wife. She could be all Lovey-Dovey till marriage only to become a BIATCH. Heck She may even refuse me sex as 'punishment'. That'll be horrible. Or worse, she just opens up and wouldnt participate in the sextivity. That brings me to my last wish "to never have a reason to nor actually sleep with another person after the 'I do' "


  1. Lol @ 'BIATCH'!
    May ALL yo wishes come true!

  2. This is so sweet, it almost brought a tear to my eye. Yeah I wish all your dreams come long ago did you write this :)

  3. I pray all your dreams come true. The second to last pg was just so sweet!

  4. lol@ extra terrestial...the wife part is within your grasp too jare altho i totally get that most times it just doesnt seem like it...e go be, mai broda!

  5. I seem to have something to say to everything you posted.

    I find myself agreeing with a lot of things you have written here and finding a lot of things hubby and I have discussed here...

    yeah - the rich part is a must! lol... and i so want to retire early- i think 50 is early enough for me though.

    I with my commitmentphobia recently got married and one of the reasons I did is the knowing that you always have someone on your side... someoen who hears your thoughts, your dreams and your ideas and loves you enough to cheer you on... walk with you through them... through everything... yeah you should get married... its awesome stuff!

    feel the same way about kids - too much ado about little... cant bear prolonged exposure and for me that starts after 1 hour!

    on the sex issue - 4 times is regular i would say.... i'm new so I'd say go for more! i am yet to experience the women cant bear it part! lol!

    Funny... even though you have a long list of what you want in a mate, you are not asking for so much really.... i have a younger sister...

    okay that's enough for now, this is not my blog na!

  6. Sex, 4times a week?! I cancel you biko!
    Kids maybe? I double cancel you..
    Plus other things?
    Mscheeew.. you just broke my heart..

  7. WOw!
    Its been a while.
    Thank you guys for reading this stuff and commenting.
    I havent been here in a while meself...

    Mys N, Dont remember how long. If I find the original manuscript (i usually date those) I'd let you know

    k9, Myne , Rep1 + CaramelD

    Whats wrong with 4 times biko? (I said minimum o)

    Tyger know I've since been married (yeah she turned BIATCH! *chuckle*)and legally separated. With a pretty daughter whose eyes still light up whe she sees me :)

    The 4times bit...I still havent been able to live that bliss yet. perhaps somedat. A sister you say... :D


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