Saturday, January 17, 2009


Yeah! Where was I?...
The other taxi emptied as the occupants filed out. Ol boy, Lagos na wah o.
How dem take squeeze enter the taxi sef?
Anyways, I asked the women to let the screaming one go, the men all said if they let her out of the taxi she'll run, I replied that I would do the same too, to which one of the men ( the two men save the taxi man had serious cases of tribal marks) started crying!
See me see wonder; my rational mind discharged the guy sharp sharp say if he get something to say he should and not attempt any emotional blackmail... By this time, a crowd had gathered
The gist according to Mr cry: " he was on night duty whennhis neighbours called to say his wife had been 'mis-yarning' since day break and he should come home to take her for help. Which is why they were in the taxi headed for ikeja.
Being a Gidi-born-bred Bobo, I no believe am. Especially with that crying-runs.
So I retorted " iF her head no well, then you are going in the wrong direction. Yaba Psychiatric hospital is in the other direction"
The other man said they were going to their pastor to pray for her. At this, the woman started shouting " it's a lie o. Check their phone, look through their phones and you'll see the numbers of at least five pastors who need me and have asked for me. They want to use me for money"
Okay, now this is really getting interesting.
One of the other women who bore a striking resemblance to the subject woman ( henceforth Crazily Hysterical Woman CHW)
turned to me and introduced herself as CHW's older sister, the other woman as CHW's concerned neighbour, the men as CHW's husband and his brother and the kids as CHW's.
I dismissed all of that with a wave and asked if kindred meant my brother couldn't hurt me.
The crowd had now become sizeable- nigerians love drama!
I directed one of the onlookers to open the door for CHW; she made as if she wanted to make a dash for it- so I held her arm "madam, I need you to calm down and talk to me".
Now out of the car, CHW kept pushing and wanted to be free.
Man, talk about hysterical, she was really high strung. I repeated that she needed to calm down and talk to me to which she said she will talk to me "oga, na you save me today, why I no go talk to you?". She repeated the stories she had been saying and ended with her home address saying she's not mad o.
All the while she was talking, she kept squirming, trying to break free of the guy holding her. That was when I noticed the guy had a grin on his face- he seemed to be having a field day smooching the woman in the guise of restraining her.
na wah o. I went to hold her myself and asked the Perv to shift.
We asked her to identify the people with her-she refused and later affirmed that she knew them. She kept Pushing to get away and I nearly lost my hold on her when her body odor hit me.
I asked her to sit in the car and she resumed her plea- asking not to be left with the evil people.
All efforts to calm the woman down didn't work amd her story started springing holes . One by one our convictions that she was well started evaporating.
We had to force her back into the taxi when she attempted to run- took 3 men to get her inside ( I didn't let them man-handle her).
One of the onlookers identified himself as a plain clothes police man and assured her she'll be OK. My taxi man checked out the taxi park sticker on the taxi for authenticity, interrogated the taxi driver and related to me that the man was clean.
Nonetheless, I took a picture of them all and the taxi plate number. Took Mr Cry's phone and used it to call mine - to get their phone number and promised to call later to know how far...
My taxi man was real proud of me and I could see the joys in his eyes of being part of something big- of course he still collected his fare
Funny enough, my flight had been delayed. Heaven smiling down on me?
Of course, I felt good.


  1. I have to commend you. You showed a lot of guts. If it were me I doubt if I would have been that brave or sympathetic. Glad to know we still have citiZens like yourself. I'm definitely taking a leaf from your book.

  2. Dear Henglish,
    You would have made my day and started my year off on a great great note.
    Couldn't have gone to that extent without the prodding of my taxi man though.

  3. Wow wee! Did you ever call back? Gosh, the drama!

  4. Mmmm
    Actually I've been a near cow
    Never did called back. Caramel, when I saw ur comment, I thot wharaheck...and called the husband.
    I spent the first one minute introducing myself and and where I knew him from, blah blah blah.
    When he remembered, he was delighted and kept thanking me. (!)
    said madam was okay, that they had to take her to the village then and she was there for like 3 weeks and got better.
    She was even with him there.
    He said they had to move house after the event-good move I think; attempt to start again.
    I guess it all did go down well afteral.
    I'm smiling...

  5. Wow..foreal good to know that there are people like you..

    me i would have told d taxi man to find another route sharp sharp...
    no be me them go take use for

  6. @BrokeAss,
    Now when I think about it...I ReALLY wonder what was going through my mind then...guess one never knows what he'll do till the time comes.



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