Sunday, September 6, 2009


We were introduced in our fresh man years
I often called her my sister
lets call her 'Roku'
I now call her the best girlfriend I never had...

We were in the same faculty and shared a few courses. She was a pretty girl who had more than her fair share of baby fat-for which I teased her endlessly. Whenever I teased her about something (which was quite a lot), she would promptly smack me on the upper arm and look straight ahead like nothing happened. If my teasing was especially gritty, she would say (after the smacking) 'I hate you', to which I would reply ' I love you too'.

Most of my uni days, I had very little interest in going out with anyone but I was always with plenty females (for which a lotta folks could swear Mancee had more game than I could ever hope to have in ten different lifes). I did make it a point of duty to point out to all my female friends exactly what we had-just friendship. Of them all, Roku was the one I enjoyed spending time with the most.

I really did enjoy being with her. When we were on holidays, I'd go to her house to hang out. she'd write down some of the hilarious stuffs that happened while we were apart and share with me, I'd also recount mine. I was quite friendly with her mum and of cos younger brothers. I had even met her father who rarely showed face to her friends. When I wrote my short stories and poems back then, guess who I gave them to to read first. Yep! Roku. Of our group then, were I to say something witty, she I could bet on, would 'get it' and vice versa. She was the first person to ever describe me laughing. *chuckle*.

It was her I'd share my voyages of mis-chief with first. Oh, practical jokes? (these were many, not a few) Roku was first choice- of course some were on her. Most of the stuff I enjoyed with her was just like I did with my sisters thus she earned the title of 'my sister'. In class, we would often 'chat' on pages of foolscap folded in two- I'd write and pass to her, she to me etc etc etc. We'd make fun of lecturers, ourselves, the weather...anything. Some of those transcripts were so funny, I developed the gist and used them in some of my Event-MC roles.

Once when I gave her a poem for criticism, she said "Mancee, you write very well, why dont you collect these writings...?". Of course, I did scoff at the idea but got a notebok and started collecting nonetheless.

I always had her back. Was always asking after her and what her CGPA was. This was one of the sources of our few quarrels. I was convinced that she was waay to bright for the academic performance band she was on and she was convinced that I was being an "Over-expecter". Lol

Dont get me wrong, i wasnt exactly a swot-contrary to popular belief- I mean I always crashed for all of my exams. Just couldnt stick that consistent reading model. I would ask her to make the effort to study a tiny bit more than she was doing. NO! If she wasnt in choir practice, one church service or the other, she was reading a best seller. once in our first year, during my scheduled overnight crashing time for a test next morning, I found out that she couldnt answer the basic calculation questions!!! I spent the night running through the course with her. Needless to say, we both failed the test and THAT was the last time we studied together. *chuckle*.

More often than not, there were many guys per time asking for her hand. from Church Head to Club Chief- This got to a head in our part three when I feared she may balk under the pressure and just give in to some random guy. I felt a great need to do something about it-afterall she was my sister. So I called a rendezvous, just the two of us. She came looking absolutely smashing in a flowing ankara gown. I still remember her blushing face when I commended her getup. She came looking too dressed up for a casual meet so I felt a need to 'set things straight', so I started my gist with 'Roku, you are a good woman and would make a good wife for somebody someday but not me..." and went on to the main body of my gist. She didnt 'gree' for anyone of the guys.

Two years later in our part five and one offical girlfriend later, I was to ask for Roku's hand. Somewhere during the years since our famous talk, it did dawn on me that I was in love with Roku. That in fact, I had always been in love with her without recognising it!. I feared that she may refuse me and that it might split our group in twain, so I checked with my guys first and they all wondered why the two of us never got together since. The females felt same way too...So I sprung the question on Roku.

She was surprised and didnt try to hide it. She started avoiding me and once when I asked for feedback, she asked for 'more time'. Then came my birthday party and Roku was all over the place; shopping, coordinating, cooking, serving. Everone had started teasing us as 'Husband and wife'. lol. I liked it-surprisingly.

Two months later, I called for a 'sit-down'. I wanted an official answer-no assumptions. She reminded me of our part3 meeting and my opening line. I remembered, of course-*sigh*. She told me that back then, she was so so in love with me it sucked. Each day, she would expect me to 'say something', but I never did. Then came our lil chat, after which she started telling herself that I just dont love her like that, that she was just like a sister to me. Now over two years later, just when she was finally ridding herself of the last flakes of such emotions for me, I'm asking her to rewind again. She said she had tried but just cant seem to be able to get beyond the 2-year long daily programming.

Thus ended our love affair before it even began. Maybe I could have insisted, maybe I could have persisted. we'll never know.

Saddest part of it all was that it did split our group. Everyone against her, asking 'whats wrong with her sef!'. I had to start pleading for no one to hold it against her, but to blame me-for being older than my age.

Roku is now married. Of course she demanded I come to her wedding. Of course I was there-with pictures to prove it. Of course I looked for her mum my friend and hugged her-didn't realise I had missed the woman that much. *chuckle*.

Heard she gave birth a couple of months ago (I really should call her)-I only hope the dude knows how special she is. Funny enough, my mind finds it hard to remember her new surname. lol.

This here is to you Rokus, best girlfriend I never had. Cheers.


  1. Awwww! Now i NEVER comment on blogs but this is just too sweet. i wish you insisted, you most likely would have got her. If she once possessed such strong feelings for you, then they could always be renewed. I am so sorry it didnt work out quite perfectly, :( xx

  2. Beautiful, " girlfriend I never had." it happens more often than we would rather.

    But, the morrow always comes with the best offer.

  3. rethots: What if tomorrow really doesn't have the "best" offer?

  4. this made me smile..although it's bittersweet, got me thinking about the choices we make sometimes..x

  5. Mancee sef.. My antenna is up now.. All these babes wey you dey for corner just dey love dey go.. How about present chics? Hmmmm incoherent might be right oo

  6. Mancee Mancee Mancee
    Im beginning to suspect you.
    You wauited 2 whole years?! Biko what were you looking at ehn?
    I see a pattern here o...
    And yes I am with Nice, awon present babes nko?
    I hope you r not waiting around with those ones either o!!!

    All these lyrics going to gadem waste...

  7. mancee...all those 2 yrs u dint kw u luvd her bah....even had an official girl. i dnt blame her sha.

  8. eeyah, sweet, sad. its just lyf i guess,i've had best friends love me without me feelin same abt them, sumtyms it takes sumtn away from d friendship, sumtyms u r lucky, it doesnt!

  9. Lol @ Nice and Fabulo-la..
    I doubt he's sitting around twiddling his thumbs, abi ManCee?

    Do I sense a twinge of regret though?

  10. well at least she is happily married with kids. I understand where she is coming from sha, 2 yrs....

  11. This man!!! Life is funny sha....there are some men/women that can't say they've truly loved and been loved and here you are writing aww-inspiring storieS. You've had some pretty good women cross your path...some are only so lucky.

  12. Hmmm,
    Guys you must appreciate the fact that I was young + rather uschooled in these matters. Moreover, growing up with many females around me made sure that I saw females firstly as JUST friends (by default) until seriously prodded otherwise...

    Ah well...!
    ps: Get a profile name o.

    >>rethots, Nice Anon
    Really, thats a thought with no real good answer...I mean what if 2moro never even comes sef?

    I guess for me the only comfort in these stories was that I did the best I understood to per time...with the most honorable of intentions, even if I say so myself-and I do say so

    >>Nice Anon, Fabulo-la
    Be nice now...and patient too. *chuckle*
    'precept upon precept, line upon line', I believe so says the Holy Writ.
    Patience sweetheart...
    Hey Fab, I wasnt aware I loved her...just knew I enjoyed her company. Moreover, we know that 'love' matters ALWAYS destroy otherwise good friendships-and I kinda treasure friendships, they are so so rare.

  13. >>Rene
    I dont either...Ah Well!

    Bruv, NO room in my life for regrets..but I SURE WOULD do it differently IF I could live my life again. *sigh* I sure would.
    ps: No mind those fine ladies...*chuckle*

    I sincerely wish she's happily so. She sure deserves it-sincerely wish so.

    >>Repressed One
    I'm not quite sure if your comment is meant to be exactly comforting or not. lol.
    But hey! It is what it is. Some comfort for me though is that I never treated any of those ladies badly, fact is most are still friends I can call up for one thing or the other and vice versa (as much as practicable, ie).
    I only hope life will yet justify those choices. *sigh*

    Dear dear people,
    Mancee appreciates your time.
    Thanks for stopping by-you are appreciated.

  14. This is so sweet, I loved it. I love your blog too, and will add it.

  15. I'm actually scratching my head while pondering all sorts.............

  16. @ nice anon thanks for the validation!!

    however this is one post that actually rings true. lol here, he's being the clueless, self absorbed dum-dum we know males are. how you go dey follow woman 4 three years and no toast am??!! then after TELLING her how so not interested you r, wait TWO MORE YEARS then tell her "emmmm nne i like you sha". a girl after my own heart she is. she was even too nice sef avoiding u n all. if na me i would've laughed in your face then and there then dumped something really hot down ur lap

    ps: boys are stupid

  17. >>Myne W.
    Tanku tanku feri mush...

    >>Caramel D
    Err...can I help you out?even scratch ur back maybe...

    >>Butter C
    Ah Well..! It is what it is, abi?

    >>Inco H
    (Sweetheart, wherehave you been? been wondering if the crocs FINALLY got you)
    na wah to you o. Can one never win with you guyz? lol
    You get female friend, you toast am..."you mess up"; you no toast am "you are stupid".
    So tell me...Howdo you guyz like us..? MESSED UP or STUPID, uhn?
    Well some of us actually think the opposite gender is good for other things aside 'toasting'.*snicker*
    ps: Howz your foot. *I stick my tongue out at you*

    Dear dear people...thanx for waka-ing dis way. The multitude 'ppreciates y'all, and so do I (even inco sef :p)

  18. Ouch! what a pity.

    Guess u told the next girl on time.

    Nice one

  19. Ouch! what a pity.

    Guess u told the next girl on time.

    Nice one

  20. Awww I loved this! Beautifully written.

  21. >>sunnyside
    I think lady was E-Babay

    ps: hope you are sweet...your name reminds me of certain kinds of cookies. *chuckle*

    Thanx People, for stopping by, much appreciated..

  22. @ mancee i'd rather u "mess up" than be "stupid". i like it when emotions are out in the open. better for everyone. get over it all and move on asap. but i go 4give u this time sha it never occurred to you that happens sometimes. but u still be slacker!

  23. >>Adekunle
    Yep. Shoulda

    See ya teeth.

    Thanx for stopping by, much appreciated...


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