Saturday, September 26, 2009


"Mancee, Have I lost you? Are you going to leave me? Do you still love me?"
"I love you Rukay, but I can’t go through life constantly watching my back and wondering what next I'll unearth round the next corner..."

So I was going to be away from school for at least 6 months-if ASUU didn’t pull anything funny out of its hat, as it would normally do.

We hugged and I promised to visit as often as I could afford to. I left with her last words ringing in my ears. "Mancee, if tomorrow, you stop loving me, please tell me immediately-don’t keep me guessing". I hugged her and left wondering where
She got the thought from; you see I entered this not even with the notion of "Let’s see how it goes", I was in with no reservations.

I remembered with a smile how on St. Valentines day, she had remarked that I seem to be more excited about the relationship than normal. I wondered what that meant- I guess she expected the famous Mancee to be a bit more aloof. lol.

Where I was in my faraway station, we would find ways of scheduling call times. She would go into the township to wait for my calls...I would queue up faithfully at the NITEL boots to faithfully make my calls to my sweetheart. (Of course this was before gsm phones became affordable for the masses).

Then gist started filtering to me - gist I thought impossible. How can my Lovely babe have such secrets? You see, in the week of our official engagement, knowing in my heart that I wanted to do this right; I had called for a "Tell-It-All" session. I encouraged her to tell me ALL about her past that I wasn’t aware of and I told her ALL of my issues, the good, the bad and the ugly. She did too, or so I thought. I told her her past wasn’t that important to me IF they were indeed her past but that we needed to know everything about each other thus ensuring deeper trust and giving each the choice to decide if he/she could live with those things. No surprises.

It all got to a head however, in the fourth month and I couldn’t intelligently ignore the unsolicited rumors anymore, so I delved into my savings for a trip back to school.

Later that night, I asked her “Rukay, is it true that...?"

After a while, she started crying saying it was true.

My heart broke.

I cried too, 'Why? Rukay why? Why did you hold this from me?’. ‘I’m sorry Mancee, I'm sorry...'. 'Rukay, I told you nothing in your past mattered to me and I so needed to trust you...why Rukay?'

"Mancee, have I lost you? Are you going to leave me? Do you still love me?"

I held her closely "I love you Rukay, but I can’t go through life constantly watching my back and wondering what next I'll unearth round the next corner...I'm sorry but I just cant. I sooo need trust and openness in any relationship.

'Mancee', she said in between sobs. 'If you don’t leave me, I promise I'll love you forever...'. My heart wept, more than my tear-macerated eyes could un-dam. But I knew I couldn’t go on...I just couldn’t...

I left next day for my station-convincing myself that it was for the best...afterall, trust was so not negotiable. I made her a promise though, that were she to hear the true gist from anywhere else, she can be sure it did not come from Mancee. That was a promise she could trust and take to the bank. And I kept it too. After all, friends keep each other's secrets. Innit?

My friends were worried about me though, seeing that when I finally did decide to foray into a real relationship I had to meet with this obstacle which I wouldn’t talk about...

My dear Rukay is since married with a kid. Of course we are still friends, of course I was invited to the wedding and of course I was there with pictures to prove it.


  1. Mancee: I no wan hear about your past babes. Let us know what's really good NOW! who is the Mrs mancee? abi the one in the making? I don tire to dey hear all these oh she don marry now with pikin. Abeg leave matter jare. I don tok mai own.

  2. manCee, I second Nice Anon. So what's happening right now?

  3. lol@ Nice & Myne. He's building up to it na...he'll be writing about 'our' love soon play i iz oh lol

    Hmmm, I can understand why you couldn't carry on. Trust, once broken is very hard to regain if ever...especially when first given a platform to bare it all.

  4. How hard must it be to love , then lose them, only for them to marry, invite you to the wedding and start a family without you.

    It hurts me reading this, imagine the person its happening to...

    I hope their is a success story somewhere

  5. I enjoy reading all ur gist about d girls u ve loved b4 but seriously how far does the story go. Do u have part 5 to
    Anyway its a gud thing seeing that u ve moved on from all . . . past girl friend wahala.. Be good.

  6. LMAO Nice Anon, you de vex o!!

    Ngwa Mancee, answer na!

  7. dude are u like good luck mancee? every girl on this list is married. let's hook up!! i can be part 7492 :)

    and what is with you people and trust? do u no how effing difficult it is 2 open up to people? she told u as much as she could. if its her past and so BEHIND her, whats your problem? sheesh. u're still single arent you?

  8. LMAO @ Incoherent and being number 7492! That is just too funny.

    But there are some things that if your partner doesn't tell you and you hear it from somewhere else it will make you wonder. As any fan of soap operas and Nollywood will tell you, THE TRUTH ALWAYS COME OUT so its better to just lay it all out on the table.

  9. @ caramel babe sometimes pple enjoy being the bearer of bad news. they just enjoy rubbing stuff in your face. bf or gf just has to learn to deal man!

    look, if u lay your cards on the table EVERYTIME my goodness how many pple go come know your gist?

  10. Ohhh follow up comment..... exicting!

    I hear you Incoco Pops! I read in Mancee's post "week of official engagement", I thought they were engaged. If that is the case then hubby to be will be treated differently from normally boyfriend, no?

    Also depends on what the secret is. My neighbour owes £10,000 and now has a CCJ (court judgement) against her. That is something she had to tell her bf when he proposed to her.

    Erm Mancee can you clear up whether you all were engaged or not? Ta!

  11. tag team on mancee's page! oh if only my blog were visited so! but then again i lack the social skills required to have sufficient relationships to blog about!

    anywho, a GBP 10,000 debt is a money issue. plus its ongoing so yeah, bf had to know. i do agree that if they were engaged (which mancee is yet to cop to by the way), everything should be laid out. but i still stand by the fact it isnt easy to open up. me, i dont even tell people when i'm going grocery shopping. seriously. so a guy deciding that him hearing somewhere something i was still having trouble talking abt is reason to break up? then good night and good luck (notice how i slipped in that movie ref?? he he)

  12. lol@ nice anon, so mancee what is happening now...

  13. >>Nice Anon,
    Didnt we say something about 'patience', sweetie.

    >>Myne Whitman
    Tut tut darling, patience...

    >>Repressed One
    Flesh and blood have not revealed this to you.
    I really could have sworn I tried to make that session as comfortable and bare as I knew to.

    Lol. Think nada of it-I'll rather have friends than lovers ANYDAY (well, most days. lol)
    That my friends are happy has always made me happy
    ...See? 'win win'.*chuckle*
    ...Of cos there are those moments when you just wonder...

    Thanx for taking time out to read- I do not take that for granted.
    Funny you'd say that...there IS a part 5, then a '6' for the 'honorable mentions' *wink*.
    so do stick around.

    (Miss you girl)
    No mind Nice Anon. lol
    She'll get her wish soon enough.

    So with all your mouth and 'forming', you are just another 'normal' chic aka, "I wanna marry and settle down someday. Oh! and start a family, a dog maybe ...etc etc etc" lol
    Well, talk to my secretary, let her check my listing. IF you are nice to her and perhaps coherent, she may just bump you up to number 7490. Tell her I sent you, darling. *wink* Howz that?

    Inspite of myself, I laughed hysterically at inco's comment too...still chuckling actually.
    Thanx for sticking up for a broda tho. Mancee & the multitude appreciate you.

    My sista, hmmm...
    (you may just have to wait for that "part 5" o, lol

  14. There's this thing I thought of once...and I still wonder at it myself.

    "Trust should only be given to those we love
    But how do we know who to love if first we dont trust".

    I'm of the opinion that people shouldn't enter a 'heart' relationship IF they still have issues with trusting either themselves or other people-unless you see no future in it from the onset. In which case, we may be tempted to ask the question..."why go in , in the first place?"...unless of course, there is no future in it...

    My core friends know like 90% of 'my gist', the 10% is because we are too busy or dont see as much- life is easier when you are not hiding, you see. My mistakes I wear proudly (as much as I can per time) as badges, that I have dared to venture out and LIVE. I wear them proudly did I say? The ONLY promise I will make to you is that I WILL not repeat those errors again-and you can take that to the bank OR just step. I am so definitely NOT a perfect man, but I AM that man who still tries anyways.

    when we choose to make a relationship or discern that it may go deep, In a heart relationship, the right honorable thing to do is to BARE IT ALL and let the other person have the choice of staying or stepping. No ill feelings.

    We owe ourselves and them that much.

  15. LOL@ mancee and the multitude. Nwanne do you see things? abi you have people that you "talk" to as in make believe friends? Let us know sharp sharp so we can get help for you!! I too dey find trouble abi?

  16. I'm sorry Nice Babay,
    But the position of "I-Try-To-Be-Annoying Incoherent Chic" is already taken; and I don't think inco will give up that exalted position without a fight. (watch out for the foot-it's gangrened!)
    I AM the multitude.
    ps: ain't we all mad in our own ways?!

  17. watever mancee. this is why i'm NOT getting married! forget u and your 7490!! i'll keep my errors to myself thank you. bleh!!

  18. Haba inco,
    Dem no dey follow you play?
    no throw away the baby with the bath water...ok, ok, ok- I'll ask her to give you the free space I have reserved.
    See?me watching ur back. *chuckle*
    ps: just for clarity, I sincerely don't believe everyone should enter marriage. If children bother you-go adopt one.

  19. mancee i hear u! i'm 1 of those nt cut out! i'll be the cool aunty you send ur kids too. you know, when u finally stop breaking up with girls then attending their weddings and playing with their kids and actually MARRY!!

  20. LMAO at your comments ManCee, the Multitudes.
    I salute the multitudes and the multitudes of girls formerly loved by the multitudes.
    Hope you are good.

  21. i just noticed the props you gave me. yes o! annoying incoherent chic he he. it aint easy to be me!


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