Monday, June 1, 2009

Shaggy and Sons- THE VEE CHALLENGE 1

A Shaggy tale, told in first person...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Its a parteeee...
:-)
I was passing by and overheard her saying to her girlfriends "...I'm so fine". I laughed and made a U-turn for her. I walked up to her amidst all the other females and held her arm 'Marry me'. She's startled.

'It's proven to work, I swear', the other chic are going 'Na wah o', and giggling

'Say something girl, I'm offering you fairy tale level romance here. Ever heard of Beauty and the Beast?. You are sooo fine (true) and I'm sooo ugly (false). We were made to be together. Lets tango', said I as I spun her into an internal dance turn-latin dance style.
Shes laughing now, 'I dont think so..', and eased herself away. I looked up into the sky and with mock angst and disappointment I cried with arms widespread "I tried, Lord I tried".
I went back to the dance floor singing "Sean da Paul...give it to 'em" at the top of my voice and doing the dance. I was having mad fun that night.
We got introduced later by a friend and I never asked her out again. I didnt mean it the first time, was just high on mad fun and Smirnoff Ice.lol. I think she apparently thought more of it.

We'd chat online, trade insults on 'hi5'. SMSs. share annoyances and pet peeves mostly over the phone. She's fun and smart but I never asked her out.

One morn, I'm getting ready for work. She calls asking if we could hook up after work-something on her mind. Why not? 1830hr, we meet. gist about this and that and nothing specific. We go see a performance. 2200hr, time to leave. She asked if she could come over to my place for the night-shes got a spare shirt. My heart is racing, could this be...I declined.
The boys would be home-that Mancee nonsense would totally burn my cable.
I took her home. We make out in the car. Tis goodnight.

She calls next day asking what happened. Why didnt I want her over. Dont I like her? etc etc. I laughed. Told her I was just tired is all.
I told her I was waaay tooo cheap to be chased for long. She laughed at my self flagellation.
lol
From then on...we flirted with each other each chance possible. Friendly banter, laden with innuendoes. She being the more vocal and un-abashed. Me silently wondering if I really could handle this woman in bed.What with all her bragging. What with my rep at stake. There was only one way to find out-It was bound to eventually happen.

A date was fixed. She chose the day. Her funeral I told her. She asked me to write my will.

I knew her job was as stretching as mine and decided to get as much advantage as possible. Took a 3 day work leave and didnt tell her. I used the first two to catch up on sleep-it was imperative to be in top shape. Fed well and took a lotta fruits. Added pineapples incase an oral came up, bananas and roasted plaintain to patch any estwhile unrecognized hole in the phallus function. Bought a box of assorted sheathings, ribbed, dotted, flavored etc etc.

Friday, "Slaughter Day", I got some KY-Jelly on my way to her office. I patiently watched her from the waiting lounge. She's obviously stressed up. Shes on the phone and I could see her neck muscles tensing, lol. I've got all the advantages in this war. She finally gets away at six, dials my number 'where are you', 'stuck in traffic', I heard her sigh. She's surprised to see me in the lounge, looking cool, bathed, smiley, smelling nice and content. She smilles and kisses me lightly on the lips. right there. Her dress was sexy and sultry in a professional way! How does she do that?

We went for a drink, bought take-away and headed to the pre-booked hotel room. She asked why an hotel and not my place. I said I didnt want to seem like I had "home advantage" in this match(I couldnt tell her I share a flat with 2 others-abi? my rep now). She laughed and mouthed some more threats. *snicker

She brought out scented candles from her bag, and lights them-I'm curious, she says she wants it to be special. Mmmm..
I told her I dont need that much persuasion or was she going to start begin me now for mercy?
She laughed 'In ur mind' she retorted. 'Shaggy, I've told you, you are going dooown tonight'.

Bring it on baby, bring it on.

Music playing, food done and cleared. teeth brushed and rinsed, clothes removed or torn. The kissing is on steroids. We are both tearing at each other as if to outdo one the other. (Well actually) Her body was a wonderland and my hands had a field day and kept getting lost. Girl gives a head like she has a diploma in it. I outdo her on the rebound. She's clutching my head tightly while she calls out my name on different keys.

Main feature of the night. I bring the box and she chooses the vanilla flavoured sheath (!).
She helps roll it on and is FRANTICALLY talking dirty. She was thrusting while i'm yet to enter. Man this woman was really itching to be done. I decided to make her wait. I played on the entrance, teased every inch of that vulva with the vanilla-ed phallus. She's wild now and looked like she'd bite me if I didnt go in. I decided to. I gently slid a finger in there...

Can it be?

"Sweetness of Ages!!!" I exclaimed.

Amaka is a Virgin.!!!!!!!!!

I sprung away, loosing my balance. I toppled backwards off the bed and hit my head. Shes asking what the matter was. My head was smarting and I was laughing. 25years and body of a damn fine sex goddess, how? Can you imagine, all that preparation and she's a friggin virgin?! No way I was going to do a virgin.

"YOU ARE A VIRGIN?!" I said to her still chuckling

She crumbles by the bed side and is wailing her heart out...'Is it a sin to be, why do guys treat me like i'm a leper..."

There is no way I'm doing a virgin. No way baby...No way
(Have I got gist for the boys or what?)

Amaka of the bubble butt fame IS a virgin!

And thus ended the V-Challenge.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What do you think about this, eh?

20 comments:

  1. Are you SHITTING me!!! She's a what? They still exist...? Gadamn. So why did that stop you from doing her now? You afraid of emotional connections? At least you can't let her down, she has nothing to compare you to.

    ReplyDelete
  2. lol ok Miss Lowlah, darn I could have been first! lol. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ManCee this story, that's the longest hmmm ever. Yes oh virgins still exist although I blive they are gradually becoming extinct :) endangered species lol.I agree, that shouldn't have stopped him from sleeping with her, from the way you told the story she was already well versed in everything she needed to know, her skills seemed on point. plus he did let her down, after she was so expectant!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Shaggy didn't deliver, he promised and he didn't deliver so...that makes him a tease! Virgin or not!

    ReplyDelete
  4. i am with CaramelD on this one....no delivery means FAILED MISSION oh! lol.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL!
    Ok so did NOT see that coming!!
    Especially the name..that err..threw me a little

    But dude; why now?
    That poor poor girl..she must have been mortified..

    So what happened next?
    Tell me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Eyaaa. Why do you lot always treat them like leper? So what happened then?

    ReplyDelete
  7. the vee challenge 1. i guess there is a 2.

    She is a virgin so, is there something wrong with that. i really want to know.....

    ReplyDelete
  8. what happened next? Part 2 please...

    ReplyDelete
  9. wait I dnt get y guys de fear virgins like this?

    Na disease?

    Anyhoos...so u do am abi u no do am abeg?
    lol

    ReplyDelete
  10. na wa oh..which one is cs she b virgin?na so?biko,u just fucked up!!c how u just leave the girl hang.and biko virgins still dey plenty,they just dnt talk!

    ReplyDelete
  11. LOL
    This V-business,
    Na wah o

    >>Miss Lowlah
    You go girl, :-)
    Apparently virgins do exist-and maybe more than the statistics imply...

    >>Miss Lowlah, Natural, CaramelID, Chayoma, Leggy
    why didnt he do her?
    Hmmm...the workings of the Shaggymind, who can comprehend?
    Maybe we'll get an insight in the 2nd part ,eh?
    :-)


    >Mocha, Nice Anon, BSNC, SOLOMONSYDELLE, BrokeAss

    What happened next? lol
    ...At this rate, I may have to move the 2nd part from draft into full blog post earlier than scheduled o..
    lol

    Thank y'all for giving ur V-views. Much appreciated.
    lol

    ReplyDelete
  12. hmmm! on the V statistics!

    why you didnt do it - its typical

    why she acted like she knows it all - is also typical...

    you wont do this one!

    and if you dont, but hang around it, you will fall hard for it!

    its time to run forever or you might get stuck.... maybe forever.... be careful
    there is more to Amaka than V

    ReplyDelete
  13. lol

    nicely told with real funny comparisons

    "calling out you name in different keys"
    "her body was a wonderland"
    .............

    I'll definetely get addicted to your blog

    On my way to check out older posts

    ReplyDelete
  14. >>G Func
    You haven't been here b4? What took you so long?
    lol.
    thank you, thank you, you are far too kind.

    Hope you enjoy reading them as much as I writing them.
    Safe

    ReplyDelete
  15. What's wrong with being a virgin? better still, what'S wrong with wanting to lose one'S virginity?huhn Shaggy? that's sexual discrimination!

    poor girl.

    Sequel please?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Wait first... high on what??? Smirnoff Ice??? Damn, lol!!! How many bottles???

    (Lol, I kid I kid)

    Anyway, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Virgins exist oh, even as hot as that and at that age. But lol at the whole preparation and refusing to do the girl afterwards. Pray tell, what's wrong with doing a virgin???

    ReplyDelete
  17. Lol...biko wat is wrong wiv being a virgin ehn? See as u jumped off the chic lyk say u see ghost.

    And yeah, there are still V's, tey jst dnt walk around announcing it.

    1st time here...nice blog!!!

    ReplyDelete

Talk make I hear...