Friday, October 16, 2009

To All The Girls I've Loved Before (5c)


If I pay attention to them
I will remain
Stunted in growth, stagnant and stale
I will not be all I'm made to be...

If I pay attention to the foibles
and flaws
I will not grow...
I will not advance

And I so desperately need to grow
to realize my potentials fully
for I am a person too
distinct, smart, gifted and great.

I am a person too...
i must not allow myself to be swallowed up
in conceptions and expectations
in ordinariness and averageness...

I am a person too; unique and great
with the power to be the bigger person
i must not allow myself to be swallowed up
in the myth of "the missus"

...Maureen Mancee (Mrs.)

XX Editor's note XX

The poem above was written and displayed by the delightful MMM for the benefit of a certain Mr Mancee (MM).

Research has it that it was written after a battery of counselling sessions when the multitude of counsellors seemed intent on getting said Author to be more 'wifely'. They are reported as seemingly arriving at the same conclusion after listening to either side and often had this to say, "Maureen, you need to pay attention to your home and your husband".

MMM, a "Social Non-conformist" (as she calls herself) did not find this a workable option.

MM was to have an eureka moment some years later when it became obvious that no one had asked MMM what she 'wanted' to be, as opposed to what she was 'expected' to be.
The said epiphany was spawned when MMM called MM and said (verbatim) 'I can never be the wife who cooks and cleans'.

Report reaching us has it that He has since been defending her position vehemently, demanding that everyone who cares to listen respect her choice/decision; asking for only one thing in return; the right to choose to be who he also wants to be.


  1. UH?

    Is this a response to the last post???

  2. aha! so you're married then?

    and thank you!! finally a guy who supports a woman not willing to conform!! ....or is this yet another mind trick? i await......

  3. He is married????
    What? How did I miss that?
    Mancee come and explain yourself o!

  4. Biko stop speaking in parables abi na poetry. U dey confuse me. What is going on here? U marry Maureen abi you never marry am.. Which one?

  5. UHHHH? WHat the hell is Mancee going on about?
    Did u marry her?

  6. LNGKMDDD@ Fab and Nicey!!

    Well, i think Mancee is married. She doesn't cook or clean or allegedly isn't the type to. Everyone is 'condemning' her for not doing so. The poem is her position on the matter.

    My question is, if Mancee is defending her position why was it even up for discussion in the counseling sessions to begin with? Did he have a problem with it before and no longer does?


  7. all these past retrospectives happened far back eh?

    MMM sounds like a woman after my heart. The question is; Mancee what do you want to be?

  8. Going by what R.One is saying.. Would it be alright then to "assume" that tis tori suppose end sinceeeee? Tey tey.. Una don see wetin choosy choosy dey cause abi?

    I am only assuming here so make una no attack me as I have no strength to fight.

  9. You all are confusing me more than the post did!

    Of course they are married now. see, she signed her poem Mrs. Mancee! From what I can gather she is scared that she will lose her individual identity in her role as someone's wife. A fear, a lot of women have in an African household.

    I have the same question as Repressed One. First who called the 'counsellors'. They listened to 'both sides', which would mean that Mancee had issues with Mrs Mancee. Yet he says he defended her decision. Confused.

  10. hmph. my own be say where is this story going?

    i think the counseling was the pre-marriage thing a lot of churches insist on. and you know how the old biddies "know" what your role as a wife "must" be.

    anywho, my own is mancee you've come this far. and i kinda suspected u were "off the market" as it is or otherwise occupied. stuff you were willing to reveal. i love being right. but darn it! you were supposed to be my good luck mancee!! lol.

    sha finish the tale already

  11. mancee is married?
    mancee, you held out on us

    By the way, this is beautiful.
    Now i am wondering about naija bloggers, seeing people and wondering if i know them.

  12. so theres mrs mancee!!!

    finally ha

  13. >>Fabulo-la
    YEP! I did.
    I have the pictures to prove it too. :-)
    Nah! Tis not a direct response. The response was much more caustic...though quite artistic in its rhyme (true).

    >>Repressed One
    Hmmm, so dem dey ask person o.
    Had no clue about those things now. I wanted to do it right thus we never 'did anything' before the wedding. I took it for granted that she understood the Primary Key Job Responsibilities of the role "WIFE"-I saw no need to discuss them. Kinda took it for granted.

    >>Myne W
    THATS the simple question.
    The answer is equally simple "happy".

    >>Nice Anon
    LOL@ choosy choosy. Wish I could call it that...
    ...all I wanted back then was just to do it right.

    To her credit and my perpetual wonder, she called the fist real counsellor, though the woman's advice still went unheeded!
    Yeah I did/still defend/respect her right to make up her mind-without condemning nor condoning.

    lol @ off the market. Right now I'm sooo off the market. Too messed up to wanna tangle like that again men.

    Thats the beauty of blogsville-we can don the mask of anonymity and unwind. You hardly get that in real life...

    Always has been. Quite a number of them too...ones married to my father, another to my brother...etc

    You are welcome.


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