TIRED LEGS

'Oh! Mancee you are not going anywhere are you?' Asked my Superintendent.
Was he kidding me? An opportunity to see my ogas make a grand fool of themselves? I sure am not missing this for anything. Lol. I was positively brimming with excitement- so were the other spectators.

Novelty match between superintendents. Woohoo! Normally I wouldn't attend such events but a friend was made the referee though she didn't even know the rules-so I had to accompany her to run her through her expected duties and the need to work through her linesmen, blah blah blah. My superintendent saw me and I got to hold his glasses and keys.

The GM took the first shot, with two female superintendents keeping the goal posts.
'Pppreeew!', my pseudo-referee friend blew her whistle and 'chuku, chuku, chuku…' they were off...! See their legs fluttering on the pitch, I wan die.

Before you could say 'na wah o', one of my supts was rolling along ground with the ball- an uproar went up in the crowd. See laughter...of course I hid my face to laugh. There was an 'ali-baba' moment when two supts on the same side collided with their pot- bellies. Laff wan kill me die, it was all I could do not to roll on the floor as I temporarily lost control of my motor skills from laff-paralysis. 10 mins later, 10 sweaty supts later half time ended.

Second half was just as hilarious. My tummy muscles ached from the laughter so much I had to squat. A certain Superintendent dribbled some others and scored, there was an uproar. When the GM learnt that the guy plays ball normally, he disqualified the goal and gave him a red card. Lol. Of course he’s not the referee.

All in all, it ended a “goaless draw”-like one of our community labor guys later commented. I had fun and so did a lotta people.

I can only conclude one thing- the 'inventor' of novelty matches was a dis-gruntled employee for whom visualizing his employers naked no longer met his vengeance needs. But ma'am! We have him/her to thank for one of the best laughs in our corporate year.
:-)

Ps: A fulfilling new year to you all.

-Mancee

IN AN IDEAL WORLD...

In an ideal world,
I'd meet her somewhere, somehow, some place
Someone might introduce us
I might notice first and make the move or vice versa
in this here world it would not matter


I'd ask her out
maybe she'll form a bit, maybe not,
maybe we'd hit it off right away
maybe it'll take some time
but we'd finally be together

We would date for a while
and I'll pop out a ring at a dinner date
and on my knees, I'd ask her to marry me
While the joint's band played 'Will you marry me'on cue

She would gleefully scream "YES"
and kiss me like life depended on it

We would marry in a quiet serene place
dressed in white before a hundred gaze
We'd honeymoon somewhere within our means
and the place would be exotic cos we are in

Honey moon
-hunt for the treasure
we'd fumble our way to knowledge and pleasure

We would have two delightful kids
A pretty princess first
and a dark dude to have her back

we would have our lil fights
but they'll never grow
We wouldn't talk about rights
And only selflessness would we sow
Always putting "US" first with our mights

She would say something crazy like
'My husband is always right'
And I'll do something utterly mad like
Doing my utmost to measure to this height
Though the human pecadillo in me strikes
or vice versa

She would say something stupid like
'I will love you forever'
And I'll say something idiotic like
'God knows I dont deserve you ever'

We would kiss and make up
make up sex will not be strange to us

I would work my behind off
to get comfort for her and The Littles
She'd take care of us all
never a button loose, never a tummy unfilled
A tidy nest to grow for us all

In an ideal world
we'd do our 75 years anniversary
amidst great, grand and children children
We would watch them all grow with smiles
re-telling how our life has been together

In an ideal world
it wouldnt matter who went before the other
The one would follow the other anyways-
grateful to God to have found
A near-perfect spouse in each other

All in an ideal world.
All in an ideal world

*sigh*

--ManCee

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE...
If you can, look beyond the commerce reason for the season. I wish most sincerely that your hearts be merry. Mine is...

TAAAH...!

They say its 'urbanisation'
-The streets are wider now
But no spaces for the donkeys
The playgrounds are disappearing
And the trees give way to concrete...

-Mancee

OGA or OGRE ?

(...from the archives, from waaay back)


So you have a boss, so do I (sadly)
Maybe yours is cool and good. Mine is cool...we were saying?
Tunji my ogre, sorry ogre, sorry I meant OGA is a cool guy if you arent working with him/ for him.
From afar ...He's da bomb
Nearby...He'll blow in your face (literarily)
So you wish you could kill yours?
Well today, he's giving me the "Brass Balls Thump" (highest grade of raking) and all of a sudden, out of the clouds, I picked a lance and showed the lancelot part of me. Yep! I did him in.
I was going to start singing some cannibal/freedom song or the other when someone prodded me 'Bros, you've got ink all over your hand...everything okay?"

Heck!
Not yet Uhuru...it was a drawing of him I had drawn sometime ago...okay a stick figure of him.
I looked down at the picture, it grinned back at me, through the blob of red ink, with its horns and trident-holding three fingered hand...
So..you want to kill your boss at about now?
I did mine in , once, on paper.
No its not okay..I just killed. AND I like it.
lol

GIDI HUSTLER

I met her at a business dinner. She had accompanied one of the other guys to the chinese restaurant meeting. I thought 'Hmmm...impressive'; bringing your girlfriend to a business dinner.
Typically, I'm being civil to her and soon noticed that I seem to be giving her more attention than her man.
'Typical...', I thought with some measure of arrogance, 'some fellas just have bad manners'.

I got to gist wih her some more when the boys went off to watch an english team pound another; she was an interesting conversationalist. Rather engaging I must say.
Sometime that night, I ask how long they'd been together since I only just met George; she laughed rather curiously and asked '...you mean...?', and another short laugh.

"You honestly didn't know? Then why have you been given me so much attention all night? I thought..."

I looked bewildered.
She paused for a while and looked at me incredulously.

She reached for a pen and some serviette, scribbled for some time-almost with a child-like air and handed me the paper with some slight measure of embarrassment-not before asking to promise not to say anything to George about our gist...(!?)
I couldn't believe my eyes...

Fadeke is a whore.
Prostitute.
Escort.
Ashawo.
Or her favorite..."Hustler"!

Go figure; what are the odds?

LOOK INWARDS

Look inside you
The universe was spoken with a word
That word still lives on in the essence of men, animals, plants, trees etc
The answers we seek are inside us
From the beginning of time
They have always been there
But we would often run from them
And HOPE to find other 'truths'
Something other than reality
We fool our own selves!
And we do it time and time and time again...ad infinitum
Look inside
Those who look inside awake
That is where the essence of the Omni Scient is
Deposited from eons ago
The Intelligent Design that made the cosmos...it resides in you
LOOK INWARDS
And around in awareness

-Mancee

JERK or ALPHA MALE

"The guy I marry must be a hard guy, a real man; who'll even beat me well if I mis-behave sef"

I'm sitting across the table, where my inner jaw had dropped to the floor, looking at the fair complexioned 25yr old, slim, frail looking, slow speeched beauty. I looked at the guy next to me and he's chuckling. Some other female in the group nods to this and I was all the more bewildered.

I brought up the matter in the office, and got a lot of afirmative stories of women who'd rather be beaten up than not!
A pastor tells of a couple who always had issues till the wife opened up that she wanted to see if the guy could be 'man enough' to beat her. Needless to say, twas their last counselling; apparently, bros started living up to expectations(!).
A married female colleague said maybe not outright beating, but he should shout her down sometimes, saying 'You know we Benin women can be domineering...'

I say okay, how about the females who don't know they want to be beaten up but just keep manufacturing headache for their males?!
Or, how about the male who just can't think of hitting anyone, has sworn never to raise his hand against any female. Any hope of him finding happiness if he's stuck with such a woman who NEEDS beating to re-calibrate?!

How long can/should you keep beating up a grown adult to keep her in line?
How about children who grow in these kinda families? Won't they maintain the same sadomasochism mindset?

But wait a while...the relationships I've enjoyed the most were the ones where most times I was too distracted and seemed like I didn't care. The ones I really gave all to, seemed to fizzle quickly and painfully.
Worrisome trend is that I have noticed this since my primary school days; the girls flock after the bully, the jerk and the guy who 'no send'!

BUT, MY PARENTS NEVER EXCHANGED WORDS not to talk of fight. Ever. Wouldn't even let my bro and I beat up each other. 'who did U learn that from?' They'd ask.
It would appear that no more does being a driven, sensitive, well built, normal looking, well spoken, God-aware, 'rich' guy cut it, you need to add 'pugilist' to the resume before you can hold down a woman in this generation.

Am I going mad or I need to just get off my high horses and go beat up the next fine chic I see on the street...